Merry Christmas, y'all! [25 Dec 2009|09:21pm] dhisana 9 comments|post comment

[19 Dec 2009|02:34am] dilaudid imagine if your life was leading up to one big moment, and you never really fully took advantage of it in the way that you wanted to because you were too scared? isn’t that the funny thing about regret. you don’t know much about it until it is a landmine exploding in your chest. it’s like, how do i connect one moment to one moment to one moment, when i don’t even really know? i can’t remember how i spend my weeks, and i don’t remember what time i fell asleep, it all seems to be about counting, and numbers, and falling, and driving. and little sentences stitched together wtih seconds and string, and the word ‘sorry.’ i dream about how long it takes until all the skin falls of my hands, and it is dead-skin-dust in my carpet, and my hands are brand new again. if i left and i came back, and i touched your small, skinny skeleton hand would it be like i was touching you for the first time? would it be something that we were both waiting for. i picture myself - sloppy sentences, dry hands, pidgeon toed. in front of you, i don’t even have to say a word. (hope this really isn’t all one-sided after all) you are the only person that i would truly miss in the gut-wrenching-topsy-turvy-keep-me-up-in-the-middle -of-the-night kind of way, that isn’t…connected to me by the blood RACIN’ through our veins. i have no idea what any of this means, i haven’t left my bed yet today. the word ‘sorry’ post comment

[15 Dec 2009|01:27am] dilaudid SOMETIMES, i feel like the smallest action i make turns into a tidal wave because everybody thinks that the words, “i am leaving” are going to fall out of my mouth. post comment

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